Aug 20 2008

The chicken of my dreams

Published by David under Blah

For the past few years I have on occasions worried that my dog is too fat. A border terrier (luckily without any obvious inbreeding-related mutations or diseases), he weighs in at about a stone and a half. His size has never bothered him – he’s comfortable in his own furry little body – but people have at times made comments about his festively plump appearance. I’ve covered his ears to protect his feelings, explained his slow metabolism, decreased the number of prawn crackers he gets as an evening snack and thought about popping him the odd diet pill hidden in a piece of his favourite kebab meat. I have even increased his walkies. Continue Reading »

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Jul 23 2008

Live in an emerging industrial society? Subtract 5 years

Published by David under Blah

The Foundation for Infinite Survival tells me that I’m going to live until I am 86.7 years old. That means that I shouldn’t be looking forward to October 13, 2060 very much - not a Friday but still pretty unlucky for me. This is all according to their lifespan calculator, which poses such cheery questions as ‘how many of your parents died from a heart attack or stroke before the age of 50?’ and ‘are you under chronic emotional stress and anxiety?’ Continue Reading »

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Feb 22 2008

A brain marked ‘F’

Published by David under Blah

Last week Charlotte and I had a really romantic Valentine’s night out; three pints in the Time Bar and then off to the Y Theatre to see Stewart Lee do some stand-up (his tour coinciding with the Leicester Comedy Festival). But it wasn’t sex that filled the air in the theatre, it was brains. Continue Reading »

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